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Now, floating up and down

I spin, colliding into sound

11/4/08 02:22 pm

I'm really sad, and I feel like no matter what I do, things keep getting worse, but it brings be closer to God. I feel like every step I take, He's right there behind me. Even though everything is terrible right now, I feel a little comforted knowing that He's looking after me.

My college loans still haven't gone through, and after they do, I'll still owe $5,000 just for this semester. I feel like the time and effort I've put into this semester has been a waste as far as getting a degree goes. I don't know how I'm going to pay for next semester, or even for the rest of this one. I can't even register for classes until I pay for this semester.

I'm beginning to wonder if college is for me, and if this is the plan God had for me. I feel like I should be doing something else. I know I came here for a reason, and I've learned a lot here. My brain is over-flowing with knowledge. I've learned about myself the most, though.

I feel like I want to go back to Maine and start working to save up money for a trip. I'd like to go out of the country, to a totally different place to take pictures.I want to be by myself in the most beautiful place in the world. I feel like that's what I should be doing right now.

I'm really confused, and emotional, and my dreams are taking over reality. All I know that is positive, is that God will lead me in the right direction.
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